Monday, 16 February 2009

Girls versus boys

I have 2 daughters aged 2 and 6. They are beautiful, funny, bright, chatty and imaginative. The older 1 (Anya) is stubborn, firey and is also a drama queen, I am convinced her motto is 'molehills are there to make mountains out of'. The younger 1 (Esmé) is currently in the middle of the terrible 2s. She is argumentative, stroppy and prone to tantrums at the most inconvenient times.

I have 2 sons aged 7 months and 8. They are gorgeous, smiley, the youngest (Charlie) is a content, chubby angel (so far) and the eldest (Ross) is seneitive, generous, artistic and musical. Charlie is showing signs of a strong character as he is determined and can have tantrums when denied what he wants. Ross is stubborn, has an attitude at the moment, is answering back and can be immature for his age.

Ross and Anya love each other to bits and get on beautifully, but this can change to all out war in the time it takes me to make a cuppa.

Ross and Esmé have a very special relationship, if she is hurt, she goes to Ross and he comforts her. If we are out walking they hold hands, Ross reads to her. In the morning she creeps up to his room and cuddles up with him in bed until his alarm goes off...he doesn't mind.

Ross adores Charlie, but gets bored as Charlie doesn't do much. Charlie adores Ross.

Anya and Esmé have a lovely relationship (most of the time), they adore each other. Esmé wants to be just like Anya and Anya enjoys the adoration and allows Esmé to do whatever she likes. This has been great, up until recently.

Anya and Charlie have a special relationship, Anya will do anything for him and I have to remind her that he doesn't need picking up all of the time. Charlie's face lights up as soon as he sees Anya.

Esmé adores Charlie while he stays in 1 place (very unusual these days), she shouts at him once he wiggles/rolls to where she is playing. Charlie loves Esmé and giggles at her lots.

I am finding my girls are far more challenging to bring up than my boys. I don't know if it's the way that they can both be manipulative and it is often difficult to tell whether Anya is telling the truth...Esmé is also practising her *story telling*. Ross rarely tells lies, and when he does they are so bad that he soon tells the truth. He, however, is sporting a less than fetching eye rolling attitude at the moment. Charlie has yet to develop this side of his character.

I also wonder whether my difficulties are to do with society and the pressures on girls. Anya is tall for her age and needs a 9-10 size in most clothes, she is worried that she is fat, in fact she is the exact opposite, she is thin with long arms and legs. Being 6 and 7 I believe that her peers and her get their adjectives muddled and fat/big is used instead of big/tall. Ross is also tall and incredibly thin, as far as I am aware he has not had any bad comments from his peers and has no worries about his appearance.

Anya looks (and at times) acts as if she is older and I am concerned that this could lead her down the wrong roads as she gets older, Esmé still looks very young (as she has yet to grow a decent amount of hair) but due to older siblings and her own brightness she also comes across as older at times. I worry more about friendship groups for my girls than my boys. Girls can be so nasty when it comes to other girls and as I was bullied throughout my teens, I know how awful it is to not fit in. Boys do get bullied, but boys tend to have a fight and then get on with things. Boys do not seem to have the maliciousness that girls have. I may be proved wrong.

I feel that my girls will face far more threats (real or in my vivid imagination) than my boys.

My concerns for my boys are quite simple, I worry that they will be rude and/or get into trouble because of peer pressure, but I don't have the same deep worry about the things they may have to face as I do for my girls.

All I can do for them is to teach them to be proud of who they are, to trust in God and to treat others as they would like to be treated. I also need to pass my worries to God and pray that my children grow up with as little pain as possible, to be happy and to have faith.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Me, myself and I

Sometime ago I was challenged to list 10 of my faults and 10 of my positive points. I found the former really easy, but the latter gave me a headache. I have decided to try again.

10 faults I have

1. I am very untidy
2. I am too sensitive
3. I worry too much
4. I find it almost impossible to say no
5. I take even the slightest criticism to heart (particularly from my Mum)
6. I care what others think of me (even those who don't know me too well)
7. I hate cooking
8. I procrastinate
9. I lack confidence
10. I have little willpower

10 positives

1. I am a good Mum
2. I was a good teacher (and will be when I go back to teaching)
3. I am a good listener
4. I speak my mind (is that a + or a -)
5. I can keep a secret
6. I am trustworthy
7.I am strong in a crisis

Ok, the first part took me 5 minutes or so........the second part I am still unable to finish. Why is it that we always focus on the faults rather than celebrating the postives?

Tuesday, 3 February 2009


I have really enjoyed the last 2 days of lots of snow, granted I haven't had to battle into work.

The snow has meant I have had to walk everywhere, as have a lot of people. The children have loved the snow and I have been able to see it through their eyes. We hear a lot of people moaning about the snow and the news always looks at the problems associated with the snow. Instead, let's look at the fun and the beauty that God has given us, how the trees look, the joy on the children's faces, their creations of snowmen and the sound of children playing.

Walking out and about we have passed many people who have smiled and said hello, or passed comment about the snow (positive). Even the children (the eldest of whom is 8) have commented how the snow 'makes people nicer.' What is it about this weather that makes people feel that they can smile and remark, when normally they would walk on by?

This weather has made me resolve to be 'nicer' and make an effort to smile and say hello whenever I pass someone whilst out walking. If they think I am mad, so be it, but if it makes just 1 person smile then it is worth it.