Wednesday, 13 February 2013

I am an incurable romantic

I am going to start by clarifying that I am not talking about the lovey dovey connotations of romantic, I am talking about this definition: marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealised.

I love words. Words in every form: speech, poetry, prose, stories, song, plays. I am fascinated by the way they sound, the way they can convey meaning, how their definitions vary depending on place and situation.

I write down inspirational quotes and poems that I see/hear. Recently my eldest children have started to comment on words of songs, like me they read a deeper meaning into them. It warms my heart.

With this in mind I have started working on a soundtrack for my children, it's a work in progress but here is some of it. I have added links to the songs lyrics. Call me soppy, call me daft but let me know what you think.

Perfect - Pink
Three Little Birds- Bob Marley
Firework - Katy Perry
By Your Side- Sade
I Hope You Dance Lee Ann Womack
My Wish - Rascall Flats
Butterfly Kisses - Bob Carlisle (for my girls)
Bridge Over Troubled Waters- Simon and Garfunkel
Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift
The Climb - Miley Cyrus (yes I know but the lyrics are so good!)
Forever Young - Rod Stewart

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Starting afresh

After some recent conversations I decided to pay some attention to my long neglected blog. I've read through my posts, some quite depressing and happened upon this one. I decided rather than start afresh I'd refresh one of the  better posts and hope it gives me the kick I need.

My Unexpected Life.
....and they all lived happily ever after....

...that was my expected life, married to a fantastic man, 4 children (2 of each), a couple of cats and maybe a dog.

Well I can say that, as I write this, I am married with 4 children (2 of each), a cat and a dog....good going!

I met M at 21, moved in together at 22 and acquired 2 cats, married at 24, had R at 27 (boy) and A at 29 (girl), so far so good.
Life has a funny way of sticking a spanner in the works.

Whilst I was pregnant for the second time, M was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I nursed him and as I bloomed in pregnancy, so he grew weaker. He died when A was tiny. I was a widow at had stuck a bloody great pin into my balloon and my expected life had gone pop.

Just under a year later I had met a new man who shared my pain and sadness. A's wife J had died from breast cancer a couple of months before M had died. We met as friends, had endless conversations about our friendship, swore we would never ever marry again and then we fell in love. We moved in together when I was 31 with his 2 cats, bringing cat total up to 4, married when I was 32 and got a dog, had E (girl) when I was 33 and C (boy) when I was 35.

Let's look back at my expected life again; married to a fantastic man,CHECK 4 children (2 of each) CHECK, a couple of cats and maybe a dog.CHECK! I have my expected life, I have just got here by unexpected means.

I would not change what has happened in my life,even if I knew the pain involved, to paraphrase a character from a powerful (and favourite of mine) film;

'I would rather have had one breath of his hair, one kiss from his mouth, one touch of his hand, than eternity without it. One.'