The college years: 2nd year 1992-1993.

Moving into the flat was interesting. The car could not be parked very close to the building and the flat was on the top floor (only 3 or 4 floors, can't quite remember.) The lift was tiny, so Mum, Dad and I shuffled boxes and cases from the car, through the security door (wedged open with a box), into the lift (also wedged open by a box), sent the lift up and ran up the stairs.

Living in the flat was a laugh. We lived around the corner from the good pubs....always a plus. We lived a short walk away from college. We became very childish while walking to college....it was the height of David Baddiel and Rob Newman's 'History Today' sketches,(http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5nCKYEM8qRc) and we used to get more and more ridiculous with the 'that's you that is' comments.
The flat was also the time of practical jokes. I received a phone call as I was interested in a new garage door. The sales person got most irate when I explained, I had no car, no garage and therefore no need of a new door. Kirsty received details of a man desperate to meet her if she paid the dating agency x amount, Becca went away 1 weekend and found her clothes and food missing, Jenny arrived back from a weekend home to find her posters all upside down. The worst threat was the piggy cupboard. Kirsty was visiting a pig farm as part of her course and her clothes and boots were locked in this cupboard as they stank....my pillow was found in there once. We called a truce when it got to the point that no one wanted to go away for fear of what might happen.

College was still good, although Teaching Practice was wearing as we had to catch the mini bus at 6.30am and we didn't get back until 6.30pm. I was in a school on the edge of a notorious estate on the way to Portsmouth. This experience set me on my love of tough areas, and to this day, I have preferred my inner city experiences in teaching to my *nice, safe* schools.

During the 2nd term, the court case of the man who had threatened us happened. My Dad and my brother came down to support me. As the man had changed his plea to not guilty, Bryony and I had to give out statements to the court. The man was represented by a woman and the Crown Prosecuter was an oldish man. Bryony went 1st, we weren't allowed to talk, so as she was escorted out of the court, I was escorted in. The Prosecution wnet first and basically led me through my version of events. I concentrated on him until he asked me if the man who had jumped out that night was there. When I looked up the man was there smirking at me. Then the Defence questionned me. She ripped in to me; Was I flirting? Was I drunk? Had I been dressed provocatively? Surely 2 girls don't go out on the town without wanting male attention etc etc. When I came down from the stand I began to feel like maybe it was my fault. We went to wait in the witness room and then we were told that the case had collapsed. Apparently the police should have asked us to identify the man in an id parade.

This was the first time I attended counselling, I had real problems coming to terms with the attack and the court case and 1 of my tutors set up sessions with the college cousellor. I was able to shout and cry without upsetting/boring my friends and family. This really helped as the man would follow Bryony and I when he sw us in town. This was before the stalking laws, so as he did not touch or talk to us, the police could do nothing. What finally helped me come to terms with it was a poem I wrote during my creative writing course.

Plea

Please go, I'm asking you nicely,
Your presence unnerves me
and fear builds up.
I had finished that chapter
Now you are back,
Haunting me,
Taunting me,
Please go, I'm asking you nicely.

Please go, I'm asking you nicely,
Not demanding like you,
No weapon to threaten with,
No promise of pain.
Let me continue my life,
I don't want to feel fear,
Or know that you're near.
Please go, I'm asking you nicely.

Please go, I am asking you nicely,
The court case has been,
The casethrown out.
You have your freedom,
But I have none.
While you are here,
My prison is fear.
So, please go, I'm asking you nicely.