How far does the cord stretch?

Everyone knows that whilst the midwives/doctors cut the physical umbilical cord when your baby is born, they do not cut the other cord. This is the cord that binds you and your child together forever and ever and ever!

My children have stayed away for a night or 2, my husband and I have stayed away from them for a night or 2, I have never had any problems with this, (mainly because they have stayed with family and friends).

Last night my little man went off to cub camp. I helped him to pack (read packed his bag saying, watch, you need to do this yourself at camp), took the obligatory photo, checked and double checked he had everything and kissed him goodbye (at home not in front of his friends!) He was dropped off at 7pm and we will go and collect him at midday on Sunday. He will be having a great time hiking, setting fire to things, building things, not washing, not sleeping, enjoying relative freedom etc. He is unlikely to miss any part of home and I wouldn't want him to.

I am struggling, I miss him like mad! He is only away for a couple of days, I will see him on Sunday and yet I miss him. More than I have missed him before. I think it is because I can't just ring to check he is ok and he is with people I don't know personally.

I am sure I will get used to this feeling as there will be other camps and school trips to come. I am also equally sure that by bedtime on Sunday I will be washing the mountain of smelly socks and dirty clothes (or maybe not if he stays in the same ones all camp, which I wouldn't put past him!) and wishing he was away for just a little while longer as he will come back tired and is likely to wind up his sisters to the point of war.

To do list.

El Río Pasa
(Ancient Otomí poem)
The river flows and flows
and never ceases.
The wind blows and blows
and never ceases.
Life passes on, never to return.

I love poetry and I keep a notebook with a selection of my favourites, reading through it I came across this beautiful poem. This coupled with watching The Bucket List has really got me thinking.

I am very happy with most aspects of my life and although there are many things that make me think 'I want to do that', but only a few that I really feel the need to do.

So here is my list:

• Take part in The Playtex Moonwalk
• Go on safari
• Work in a school/orphanage in Africa
• Get a tattoo
• See my children happy in adulthood
• Help someone to achieve their dream
• Take my children to Florida to see Disney and the Epcot Centre

When I started my list it was as long as my arm. I read it through and tweaked it and then sat and thought about it properly. Were the things on my list really what I needed to do? I redid my list with the things that I needed to do and got down to these 7 points. This list has some promises to others (I promised Matthew I would take our children to Florida one day and I promised Alan I would do the Moonwalk with him) but really it is a list of things that I can honestly say that I will be sad not to have done by the end of my life.

What would your 'to do' list be?

Seeing me

Isn't it strange how we view ourselves and how others view us?

To me, I am tall and overweight (still need to lose the pregnancy weight). My hair is a mop as I am growing it and it is at the inbetween/no real style stage and the roots need doing, and the bags under my eyes are now a permanent fixture as my youngest has an aversion to sleeping more than 3 hours at a time. I don't wear my clothes, they wear me at the moment. I am concious of where they are too tight/too baggy and of the marks of motherhood on them, fingerprints, food stains, snot, baby sick...you know what I mean.

This week 3 people have commented on how well I am looking, 2 people have mentioned how good my hair looks and 2 people have commented on how much weight I have lost. This boosts my ego, but leaves me confused. My scales still tell me I need to lose 1 1/2 stone, my mirror shows me where my clothes don't fit and how tiredness has crept over my features.

I am in a good place at the moment, helped by a delivery of new clothes that actually fit me. Today I am wearing a new outfit, and I have taken on board what others have said. I have actually made an effort to be more yummy and less slummy mummy today and have put a small amount of make up and I feel good.

Today the mirror is telling me that I don't scrub up too badly for a 36 year old mum of 4.

Pointless blog really, but there you go ... :o)